Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
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3:07 pm
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so as of yesterday its been 10 years since Jerry Garcia passed away :( R.I.P. Jerry we miss you
current mood:  cranky
current music: Grateful Dead - Cassidy
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(1 Wound | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Friday, July 1st, 2005
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9:20 pm - i need a place to live.....
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so after years of years of my mother saying she was gonna leave my father as of about 2 weeks ago it was made final... I have mixed feelings about the whole thing... but pretty much we're selling the house and im looking into hopefully getting my own place but I cant do it on my own so if anyone else needs to get the fuck away from home then please contact me.... other then that everythings pretty much going alright.... working just about every day.... happy 4th all <3
Jama
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(These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Saturday, June 25th, 2005
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4:23 pm - broken home all alone....
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
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10:25 pm - you are the anticdote that gets me by....
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So had my second day of training today... theres a lot to remember in the waitressing aspect of the job but i think after a few days of working ill get the hang of it... im so happy to be working again... I need that constant aspect of having a job in my life so I dont feel like a waste of life.. anyways I train as hostessing this weekend and next weekend more waitressing... hopefully I dont fuck this job up... redid my room again last night cuz I got a crazed episode of insomnia... moved my bed and my tv and drawers and shit.. fell asleep at like 10 o clock this morning.. only to wake up a few hours later to get ready for work... Feel like balls right now.... got a really bad stomach ache... hopefully I wont h ave insomnia tonight so I can actually sleep... maybe I should start taking my medication as prescribed... I still havent started one of them but whatever.. im fine... arg... yup so I dont want to write anymore so peace..
current mood:  drained
current music: Static X - This Is Not
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(5 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Saturday, March 26th, 2005
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4:04 am - la da di la da da
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So I got a job :) at jillians in the source mall.... i start training on monday.. im gonna try and get a job with dana who just got a job at pac sun and try and work 2 jobs for a little bit to save up money for whether I decide to go away to school or move down to florida and u know in the mist of all that get a car... hopefully this will all work out.... I got a bellydancing tape and a salsa tape today so hopefully I will lose the 30 pounds I need to lose before next month... So I got asked to do porno by this modeling agency lol... mica and karissa were in the car when I got asked to do it... there reactions were priceless.. I don't think im gonna do it but ive been thinking more and more about doing suicide girls..... idk Ive been putting it off for like a year now and I can use the extra money and the site is done tastefully but idk... its still a lot to think about... altough I think the naked body is a beautiful thing especially when done artistically but I just idk theres a few reasons why I wouldnt do it... we shall see... been pretty much hanging out at the jam room every night... the painting of it is coming along... looks a lot better then it did... and theres IO in there now so its bad news lol... especially when a room bunch of about 8 or 9 stoners are watching softcore porn haha nah that was actually funny as hell... have fucking really bad cramps... i really need to get back on birth control... but yet again thats another thing I gotta wait til I have money for... anyways its 4am im gonna go read and pass the fuck out... nite my loves <3333
current mood:  weird
current music: watching Starsky and Hutch
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(These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Monday, March 21st, 2005
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3:31 am - i wasnt prepared for this...
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so today... applied at spencers at the source mall.. hopefully i will get the job.. oh and frank or sunny are reading this i hope you dont mind I put you guys down as references because i figured id have a better chance putting friends that i worked with rather then just my friends hope u dont hate me i love u gusy <3 shit was fucking insane today but i dont want to get into it... went to the jam room tonight for a few hours smoked a blizze cuz it was much needed then went to my danannanas and chilled with her, steve, MICHELLE! (she goes awya to school) and micachoo... smoked hash lol and watched most of prozac nation gonna finish it later thank you soooo much micas dad for burning it for me!! I really fucking like it so far but i think they made it to trippy like a requiem for a dream or spun type thing but its still amazing i wanna reread the book after watching it... after that went back to the jam roomed with mica and lil v, romey, luke, and thumpah were still there although thumpah was passed out... listened to some toons played some mortal kombat deception got my ass kicked tonight then played some jeapordy and came home... the night was much better then the day i fucking love my friends so fucking much!! and my cute lil puppies who are sooo cuuuute my munchkins.. oh yea and uh this is nice i guess lol....
 | You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say?
Suicide | | 100% | Disease | | 60% | Bomb | | 60% | Gunshot | | 53% | Posion | | 53% | Drowning | | 47% | Eaten | | 47% | Accident | | 40% | Suffocated | | 40% | Dissapear | | 33% | Stabbed | | 27% | Electric Chair | | 13% | Cut Throat | | 0% | </td>
How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com |
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(2 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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4:23 am - we're painting the rosess red
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or the jam room black for that matter.... so got my wisdom teeth taken out on saturday... what a lovely birthday present... i was supposed to go to new paltz for a partyful weekend but noooo lol... anyways getting the stitches taken out in a few days... the pain isnt as bad as i thought it would be... its hard to eat tho... but i guess taht works out since im trying to get more in shape... gotta be in shape by april 30th so i can talk to my cousin about modeling and shit... not that i have a chance im not hott enough but hey a girl cna dream cant she... anyways basically been chillin down at the trouser jam room everynight... a bunch of us painted the walls black tonight... came out pretty sick its gonna need another coating but it looks ill... hrm lets see what else... so the fiona cd was finally leaked I need blank cds so i can burn it... ah i fucking love her so fucking much! Ive been reading this book called "She's Come Undone" its on the Oprahs reading list lol... its actually an amazing book I started out not liking it but im really enjoying it... got about 50 pages left to it.. i highly reccomend reading it to those who like to read.. todays Marissas birthday so happy birthday to her... I dont have her cell phone number anymore I dont think so hopefully ill get in touch with her one way or another to wish her a happy birthday... anyways thats about it for now just a quick update cuz i have crazed insomnia again... later <3 and if u wanna look at pictures go here: http://community.webshots.com/user/jizzmasterj and enjoy :)
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Fiona Apple - Extroadinary Machine
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(5 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Monday, March 14th, 2005
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3:43 am - cuz theres beauty in the breakdown
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Monday, February 14th, 2005
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12:40 am - Take me take me in your arms and dont you let me go i need you more and more i need you more and mor
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Ah so its valentines day... and im bitter again lol... its such a stupid holiday... even tho last year it didnt bother me cuz for the first time in my life i had an amazing valentines day and I spent it with an amazing person who at the time i was head over heals in love with... but this year... yea i got valentines but its just friends... but whatever its all good... who needs to get chocolate anyways lol... so my dads been oddly really nice lately... my wisdom teeth are growing in and I was in a lot of pain the other day so he gave me 2 joints it was fucking ill... and my mom is going to florida on tuesday and we were talking about it at dinner tonight and i was like take me with u and my dad was like i told u that and he told my mom to get me on her flight... and she did :) so now im going to florida for 5 days on tuesday... hopefully it will be nice there so i can be a bum and just chill poolside and get a nice tan seeing how most of my past summer was spent in the hospital so i missed out on my favorite time of year... went up to new paltz this weekend... went to see MU330 and Voo Doo Glow Skulls.s... was a pretty sick show... then went back to the paltz and got drunk and shit.. fun times.. got to see my seanna cornocopiazizalaqua which is always a pleasure...im kinda terrified to go on the plane.. i havent been on one in forever... ill prob just take a xanax and hopefully pass out and not have a panic attack or die or anything... pray for me lol... lets see what else is going on in the life of me... not a whole bunch.. i guess thats it for now.. peace my loves <3333
current mood: worried
current music: John Mayer - Neon
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(3 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Monday, January 31st, 2005
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11:18 am - A song I just wroted
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A song written by yours truly
Sitting in the hot hot bath
thinking bout the time we shared our last laugh
The water trickles down
As the tears quickly come around
Chorus:
The water is rinsing away the memories
of a love turned into enemies
I never wanted it to be like this
Maybe if... just one more kiss....
The steam is filling up the room
like it did to your heart the night of the full moon
Mirrors are fogging up
Will you ever admit this is your fuck up?
Razor blade to the wrists
How bout a bloody little kiss?
Each scar reminds me of the pain
Its the only way to keep me sane.
Repeat Chorus: The water is rinsing away the memories
of a love turned into enemies
I never wanted it to be like this
Maybe if... just one more kiss....
I wash away that memory with my special shampoo
Washing away the memories... the memories of you...
There will be no conditioner now
For there is no way to repair the damage to this one
Just split ends with leftover crud from you
Water burning the skin
Scorching the body of which you so badly wanted to win
blood still trickling down
her face is covered in a frown
Repeat Chorus: The water is rinsing away the memories
of a love turned into enemies
I never wanted it to be like this
Maybe if... just one more kiss....
She finally gets the strength to turn the water off
water trickling from her body
She grabs a towel and starts to dry
No more tears will this girl cry
She feels refreshed
Memories of you she has just left
Yea its depressing and sucks but IDK I was watching tv and got inspired....
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(These wounds wont seem to heal)
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7:21 am - whoa again?
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Went up to New Paltz Saturday night with Dana and Mica cuz Mike got Dana a bottle of Captains for her bday so we went up to visit.... I didnt feel too good for the first few hours so I took a nap but after that it was fucking awesome :) I love those people so fucking much I dont even think they understand... I ended up not falling asleep and ended up taking a stroll thro the town of new paltz by myself at like 10am.... I couldnt find a bagel store :( it was very sad lol but its so beautiful and peaceful up there I love it... going back around there today for a Trouser show :) and thats about it in a nutshell kiddos :) Muchos Lovos
~Jama~
current mood:  high
current music: John Mayer - Why Georgia
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(These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Friday, January 28th, 2005
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10:39 am - so yea its been forever
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So I figure todays Nick Carters birthday so why the hell not update my journal.... well whats been going on in my life lately.... I regained most of my friendships back and I couldn't be happier... I lost sight of what was important to me while going out with Tony... yes of course Tony was very important to me but my friends are my salvation and I'm so lucky to have such amazing ones... I've basically been chilling with Dana, Michaela, Romond and Thumpah every night with the occasional others... it was awesome when everyone was home from school... party like every night... I got a job with Karissa at a catering hall which should be awesome... im also trying to find a second job so if anyone knows of any hook a sista up :).... eh im really not in the mood to post right now so thats a quick update of the life of Jama.... :)
current mood:  chipper
current music: Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills
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(These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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1:43 am - its been awhile
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Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
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1:18 am - boogers and farts...
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Today was a descent day I guess... woke up got high.. worked on my room a bit til it got too depressing being in there in which case I stopped... around 6:30ish walked to the dairy to visit Jamezypoo to see how he was doing... chilled there for like half hour chatting away with him and Mr. Merz... then left and walked to Veronicas... saw Marissa haven't seen her in awhile... then went on my way to Veronicas after a brief chat with Marissa... Veronica, her cousin, and I went to Roosevelt for a bit... saw Toby and Frank and got lots of hugs :)... after the mall Veronicas cousin dropped us off at the brew so we can visit the Jaymyster.. met up with James and Christina and just chilled there for a bit.. had our coffee and some laughs... even got our bill payed for by some guys :) moohahaha... seeing happy couples sucked ass tho but what can ya do...atleast they're happy... tomorrow I get to be Jewish and hear from my family how I cant keep a boyfriend and shit... ah gonna be so much fun... I fucking miss the kid so much.. but what can ya do... if we were meant to be the world will bring us back together somehow... only time will tell i guess... anywho.. thats it in a nutshell.. not a very entertaining post sorry....
P.S. Frank: Look at me Im happy :) lol (not really but just for you ill say I am lol) Now you need to 69 some chick and fart at the same time lol
P.S.S. Oh i suck at writing but I always seem to post my shit anyways so heres another lil piece of shit lol....
~ I will be the sunshine to brighten up your days.. I will be the moonlight to brighten up your darkest nights... I will be the stars that fill up your sky... If you just said you'd be my world again... ~
current mood: lonely
current music: Dresden Dolls - Operator Boy
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(3 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Friday, September 3rd, 2004
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11:35 am - heart is on the floor... why don't you step on it?
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Saturday, August 21st, 2004
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1:04 am - stupid dumb shit god damn mother fuckers...
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Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
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10:22 am - balls...
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so its been awhile.. things have been kinda crazy lately... i was in the hospital for a few days... i threw up blood and they think i have a bleeding ulcer... they want to see if it heals itself and i have to go back to a GI doctor in a bout a week or so to get a camera in the tum tum to see whats goin on... both my mother and tonys mom went in for surgery and my aunt goes in next week... the hospitals must love us lately.... started a new job at the pet store at sunrise mall... so far it seems like a pretty easy job but any job really seems like that in the first few days... tonights my last day of training then i get put on the schedule so hopefully ill be rackin in the dough soon.. idk we shall see... anywayz thats all for now... peace nukkas...
ps check out www.ecocide.net ;)
current mood:  hot
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(2 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Friday, June 4th, 2004
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1:06 am - i do not have kankles!
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been hanging out with veronica a bit lately... always a good time... last night we actually went walking around for a while and ended up seeing vinny at checkers so chilled and talked with him and his friends for a bit always a good time... then walked back to my house and watched my so called life... it seems so cheesy now lol but its always a good show... then went with toa to his moms for the night... worked on cleaning his car most of the day then came back out here... made a quick stop at tri county then wendys then since it was so fucking nice out went and ate at eisenhower.... came home did some laundry then got bored and went for a walk... saw steve shields who i havent seen in a while and ended up hanging out with andrea for a bit and just talking about life and shit... i might be getting hired as assistant manager at claires at broadway... i really hope i get it... i need to make more money and get my life in order... i really need to get my permit and liscense and get myself in school... but all that comes with a price and i just cant afford that right now... arg
current mood: aggravated
current music: Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus
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(2 Wounds | These wounds wont seem to heal)
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Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
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2:29 am - i will get byyyyyyyy i will survive..
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Monday, May 17th, 2004
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12:59 am - just keep swimming...
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its time for me to get my life in order... get myself a new job.. get myself into school.. drive.. and most importantly fix things with those i love cuz i fucked up hardcore and ive got a lot of making up to do... and I really need to stop being so negative on life... ive gotten a lot better i have but i still have alot to work on and i gotta learn to enjoy life more and just get my life going lol hopefully it will all work out for the best but only time will tell... and to those who i have hurt i truly am sorry and I really hope its not too late
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(These wounds wont seem to heal)
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better0ffdead's journal
